More people have seen my vagina than Mount Everest
…the Grand Canyon
… the Movie Titanic
…mugshots of Lindsay Lohan
…fake Santas
…their own face in the mirror
…licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop
…reality shows
…how many people have claimed to have invented the internet, including Al Gore
…how many people have had their children baptized, regardless of the fact they don’t believe in God.
…how many people hit the breaks when they see a cop car, even when they are allready doing the speed limit
…how many people have exercise equipment in the basement that they never use
…how many women wipe front to back
…how many people do the walk of shame on any given morning
…howmany people pick their nose and then do not dispose of the results appropriately
…how many people realize at some point that they truly do not like their children
… how many people emphatically tell you they like your new hair cut, in the hopes that you will continue to looks like a retard, thereby making themselves look more attractive in comparison
…how many people blow the most atrocious smelling farts, and even though you heard their butt vibration, and there are only the two of you in the car, they will look at you in innocent disgust and ask, “What is that smell?”

I think you get the point.

A lot of people have seen my vagina….


{May 26, 2013}   I am alone….

Someone single said that she is miserable.  When I asked why, she said she is tired and alone.  I immediately responded “Me too.”

I am married, I have three kids.  I am completely alone.  My husband works so much he doesn’t recognize his children.  My best friend from childhood is far away and unreachable for many reasons.  No Dad, Mom, siblings.  No friends.

So here I sit, broken hearted….

Is there anyone out there?  Call me, lets get together….

I want to go up in a hot air balloon…

Fly in a helicopter…



Hunt (this fall/winter will be my first bow hunt.  Anyone in WI or IL know a place to hunt?)

I want to own a horse.  Love her, groom her, feed her, ride her.

I want to learn to paint, create…

I want to drive, fast, oh so fast, race someone else and kick fucking ass…

I want to take my big bad powerful pretty truck and drive it sideways through the mud…

I want to meet a man who becomes my friend, and at some point, needs me, cant keep his hands off of me, completely loses control.

I want a second chance with my mother.  I love you Mamma…

{May 1, 2013}   Manic and drunk….

Thank you so much for coming to see me. I was waiting for you… I just got out of the shower. I wanted you to think I was sexy, beautiful.  I wanted you to want to fuck me.

I shaved EVERYTHING.  I fingered myself over and over but only ended up making myself come all down my legs. I painted my eyes black and my lips red, and rubbed my favorite fragrance all over my body.

My nipples are hard, anticipating your mouth. My clit is throbbing. Please hurry. Make me your whore.

I’m here. Waiting. For you… make me scream…..

{March 30, 2013}   Ages 18 and over…

I take off my nightie as the fabric is uncomfortable against my skin. I’m feeling edgy, restless, needy. My hands take the place of the discarded fabric, and as I close my eyes, I begin to imagine them to be the hands of my lover, someone unknown to me, but someone who seems to know me. To hear my silent cries, and begins to answer them.
Your touch is pleasure and pain. Demanding. Forceful. As you seem to get bigger, stand taller, energized by the power you hold over me, I fall to my knees. As I bow my head, my secret smile emerges. I know the power has been mine all along. I allowed you to own it, for a time. But now, so easily, I pull it back. I touch you here, and that sound erupts from your lips. My mouth… You begin to shudder. I look into your eyes, and you know…
I take you up, and show you how bright the stars can be. I take you down, and roll your body through molten lava. I gather the light and the fire and hit you with it, with all the power within me, and you shatter. You shatter into a million pieces from the inside out, screaming my name. A name you will never, ever forget. As you begin to resurface, to remember to breathe, you reach for me. But I am gone…

et cetera