I sit in my bed alone. The silence makes the inside of my ears hot. My eyes burn and water, pushed beyond endurance.

All I see are the yesterdays, all the shadowy days I try to hide from myself, lest they emerge and tear my mind asunder.

But they are here now. If I do not face them one by one, as I have in the past, they will just get louder and uglier, and more truthful.

I just wish I didn’t have to go through it alone.  The very few people I have, can not stand witness to my never ending reals of memories, lest they realize that more than one of the acts committed herein has cast them in the role of victim.


{March 27, 2013}   Red day…

I’m having a red day. I feel like I am going to explode. Tons of energy that can only be used negatively. I’ve never hurt anyone physically in my life. I don’t even spank my kids. But right now the best thing that could happen to me is to have an intruder enter my house so I could commit Justifiable Homicide with my bare hands.  Bring it on…

et cetera